In The Beginning...

I have made this blog in order to transfer my thoughts written in my journal onto the web, for everyone to see and comment on. I am not going to write all of my past journals for everyone to see here, but my thoughts will be written here from now on. However, I will mention why I have become so interested in spirituality at quite a young age.

Almost exactly a year ago, in 2006, I had an experience with mania. My parents didn't understand what was going on at first, but we were able to find out that I had bipolar disorder. I have been able to see how dysfunctional the world can be through this experience, even though it was the toughest part of my life. Paranoia makes everything seem like the world is in chaos, while no-one else is aware that I am experiencing it. The positive side about this is that I realized I had to escape this once I knew that it wasn't desirable. I never wanted to be controlled by this manic-depressive illness again. I was okay with accepting I had it, and I knew that I didn't want it.

So, I became deeply interested in how we got into this life-situation. I started thinking constantly, and started reading a lot. Once I had run into A Course in Miracles, I started feeling that everything was okay, and I was safe. The message in the Course said everything I needed to hear, and everything else that I have read seemed to say the same thing, even though they were from different religions.

Luckily, it has recently gone past mere reading. I started applying these teaching to my life, and it allowed my to experience something grand. Before I fell asleep one night, I reached a state where my whole body was filled with this wonderful sensation, stronger and more pleasant than anything the world has to offer. It was undeniable, and it makes life in the world seem unreal. Nevertheless, I didn't think I was going to have this happen to me at age sixteen. I can only hope to reach even deeper in my spiritual journey, as well as hoping that everyone else is up to finding what I have found as well.